People Are Sharing the Worst Things That Have Ever Happened to Them While Kissing Somebody

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The first kiss can set the tone for the rest of your budding romantic relationship with a person. Get it right, and it’s your gateway to a second, third, fourth… But if it’s bad, it can be a disaster. In a thread on Reddit, just in time for Valentine’s Day, men and women have been sharing all of the different things that have gone wrong for them while kissing somebody — from the mildly embarrassing, to the truly mortifying.

“She had a ton of garlic for lunch”

Bad breath is, unfortunately, a pretty common complaint. From gaziks2: “The girl I was making out with had a ton of garlic for lunch, and the smell/taste was super concentrated, to the point it could make one gag. But I stayed strong throughout the 30min make out session. It was an experience.”

“Snot started to build up”

The original poster confessed: “It was cold outside and snot started to build up… and yeah. It was gross. Had to wipe it off her face and she was absolutely disgusted.”

It turns out, this isn’t just some gross fluke, but an actual condition, as one commenter explained: “For a period of time, my nose would run every time I had sex with my wife. Apparently it’s a thing called honeymoon rhinitis. There is erectile tissue in the nose that becomes engorged during sex. Not exactly the erectile tissue I wanted to engorge!”

“I forgot that breathing was a thing”

It’s possible to get so caught up in the moment that you neglect basic functions, like getting enough air. From Diresolo12: “I forgot that breathing was a thing – so into it and suddenly realising mid pash and had to surface like I was fucking scuba diver without an oxygen tank.”

This is more common than you might expect. As MajorMaxPain explains: “I have this weird thing, that I can’t exhale while kissing. Like I don’t want to blow my hot moist air into someone’s face. So I kiss, inhale while doing this, kiss more, inhale more and so on. Until my lungs are almost bursting, when its time for the old switcharoo, where I go from my nose on the left, hers on my right to my on the right and hers on the left.”

“She whispered her ex’s name”

The secret to being a good kisser isn’t just your technique: it’s about being present, in the moment, and making your partner feel like all of your attention is on them. With that in mind, it is important to remember who they are. From schtr0: “She was spending the night with me and while we were making out, she whispered the name of her ex. Probably the most awkward moment of my life.”

“I got two stitches in my left eye”

Some people like to be a little rough when making out, but ideally you should try to avoid black eyes or any other injuries that might require a trip to the emergency room. From RusticSurgery: “It’s hard to describe but we were walking slowly and she went in for our first kiss. My ankle went half on half off the sidewalk and I fell. We were holding hands so I kind of dragged her off balance. It was summer and she was wearing sandals with a buckle on the side. She kicked her leg out to keep her balance. I was nearly already on the ground. The buckle caught my left eye lid. I bled like a stuck pig and got 2 stitches in my left eyelid!”

“She had an allergic reaction”

Other times, mid-makeout medical emergencies are unavoidable, especially if the person you’re kissing has a serious allergy. From kite-pirate: “So I’m meeting this girl I’d been dating, had been going well. She’s running a bit late because of a march in town so I get a coffee and a Twix. Few mins later, shes there and we kiss and suddenly she pulls away and touches her lip. ‘Did you eat chocolate?’ ‘Yeah, why-‘ Immediately goes rummaging for medicine, turns out she was allergic to cocoa powder and was about to swell up, oops.”

“She threw up on my lips”

From Homiesexual: “One of my first girlfriends didn’t know if she was lesbian or not and we hadn’t really done anything sexual or romantic until that point and she brought it up, so we decided we’d try and have sex, so obviously like any gentleman we started with foreplay. She fucking threw up on my lips while we were kissing. I’m glad we didn’t get to the tongue part otherwise I’d have died then and there.”

Philip Ellis is a freelance writer and journalist from the United Kingdom covering pop culture, relationships and LGBTQ+ issues.